Saw this film a couple of months back and I meant to write this one out – a list of all the things I found wrong, or choices that didn’t really work with the movie. Believe me, there was a lot but work and life got in the way, and I found myself repeatedly putting it off. Even finding the time to rewatch the movie, or even just the scenes themselves to double check what I remember, felt too tiresome.

Personally, I think this is one of those movies that has no rewatch value.

Rather than keep this thing rattling inside my head, waiting for a perfect time to write it all out, I’m just gonna post what I remember and probably edit this post when I think of something more.

My first problem with the movie is how painstakingly bland Hodak, the evil enforcer, was. Compared to his counterpart from the previous Charlie’s Angels movie, the Creepy Thin Man, Hodak looks positively one dimensional. Creepy Thin Man stood out because he had a thing: slick hairstyle, pinstripe suit, being a mute, and a hair-sniffing fetish accompanied by a piercing shriek of joy afterwards. And what does Hodak have? He has tattoos… That’s it. You could easily spot Creepy Thin Man from a crowd while you’d be hard pressed to spot Hodak if he ever gets lost in a crowd of wall street brokers. I suppose that’s a plus for him as an assassin, being able to blend in, but it’s just boring for a movie audience. Personality wise? Nada. He said nothing of importance that he might as well been mute.

Next one is the final fight scene between the angel Jane and Hodak, the latter having beaten Jane twice earlier in the movie. During the course of the brawl, Jane taunts Hodak by claiming that he only has 7 moves, and she’s learned them all. Having said that, as an audience I expected her to start blocking, or evading his attacks, maybe even calling them out as she did.

Punch? Ducks from it. Elbow strike? Blocks it. Hip toss? Counters it.

Instead she gets punched in the face right after saying that line, and even thrown down to the floor twice before managing to kill Hodak by impaling him into an ice sculpture. Quite a letdown isn’t it? If you’ve piqued my interest by claiming your opponent only has 7 moves, shouldn’t you at least tell us what they were? Coz from what I saw, it mostly consisted of Hodak punching her in the face.

Probably the one that confused the hell out of me was the scene in the end when Elena was captured by the bad guys. They didn’t tie her hands, but they placed a golden leash on her as Hodak pulled her along to meet the big boss. And here I thought, okay maybe its a shock collar to keep her in line if she acts out. Nope. Just a regular leash. I don’t know if it was added there as symbolism for men being dominant over women, or just plain sexy appeal, but it felt completely out of place and unnecessary. It served no purpose at all to the scene. 

One good thing about the movie though is how it tried to set up Charlie’s Angels as a worldwide organization. In the movie, there were more than three angels operating in the field and their handlers were all called Bosley, which they revealed is akin to a rank in their organization. This new status quo is actually an awesome idea for any future sequels to the movie. If you think about it, they could cast any new actress as an angel in the next movie without having to reboot the series. They could explain it in a way that the three angels in this movie are out on different missions or something. I read somewhere that they originally planned on casting Margot Robbie and Emma Stone as angels but they declined. Maybe they could have changed their minds when the series became a success, except the movie flopped.